I miss you best puppy in the whole world! Spent so many happy days with you. I am forever grateful; my heart is full.
When you spend almost 14 years with a person or a pet, they become so much a part of your life. From all the wonderful charming things to all the little annoyances. But once they are gone, suddenly the irritations are greatly missed.
Last night three things happened. The first was that I found his pill case. By his last day he was on 16 pills. I never minded, even waking up in the middle of the night to give them sometimes. I would do anything for him.But the case was a reminder that he had some sort of mysterious illness looming over him and at first it was crushing. The next thing i found was a crumpled up tissue. It reminded me of all the times I had to wrestle him and finger sweep a tissue, toilet paper, just about anything from down his little throat. And he, if I wasn't very careful, in the later years, would try to bite me. Yet, when I saw that tissue I felt a deep longing for that interaction with him. Something that happened dozens of times. I miss it. Me knowing him so well, and visa versa. The last thing that triggered a memory was the garbage pail in the bathroom. The last ten years in particular I've had to guard the garbage pails like they were the crowned jewels. The last one I almost had to put a brick on the lid (after the chicken incident - don't even ask). Little waste baskets were just a lost cause. A snack holder for him, my little devil dog. Before these three things happened, I hadn't realized, that I've been thinking all day about the good things I miss all day. The little nuances of his walk, his nighttime routines and bathroom routines. His excitement over food. How he was so well trained; I would talk and he would listen. Usually. The way all I had to do was say "kiss kiss" and he would actually kiss me. He kissed me good-bye just before I put him to sleep. These are the special things, the small things that make life meaningful., for me. That a small animal can bring such happiness into a life means, for me, that there is hope. Being able to find great joy in the kiss of a small crazy dog, that is success! First dog I ever had - who forever changed me, and will always be in my heart. |
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March 2015
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